Changes.

Hi everyone!

I am currently in the process of moving my blog. If you enjoy reading my posts, please head over to my new site.

www.insidemycrazybeautifulworld.com

DON'T FORGET... 

At the bottom of the page there will be a -FOLLOW- button. Be sure to subscribe to my blog posts. Each time I post, you'll get a notification. It'll be easier for all of you and myself included. I'll be able to post more & it will be much easier to go straight to my site.

PLEASE, share & subscribe.

Thanks, everyone.

XOXO, Ashly.

 

 

My Person...

As Father's Day is approaching quickly, I can't help but think all about my person. My husband. Yes, I think about him everyday of every hour. I married him, of course I am going to think about him and be all mushy about him. But, Father's Day is VERY special to me. When I had Jaxson, I went through a full year with him not having a father. Confession; I didn't think I would ever find someone that would love me & love Jaxson just the way we came. I had a love/hate relationship with clothes shopping for Jaxs. I hated seeing those shirts "Daddy's Little Buddy" or "Just Like Daddy". I honestly hated it. I was so bitter and so upset. 

I've told you a small portion of the time I met Kaden (the full version of meeting my person will come later). But, when I met Kaden I was so afraid that he was just going to turn around and run when he found out that I was a single mom. Kaden already knew. He knew I was a single mom before we even went on our first date. He wanted to meet Jaxson & wanted to spend just as much time with him as he did me. 

Anyway, this isn't just about how amazing of a father Kaden is, it's how amazing of a person he is. I can't begin to tell you how unbelievably blessed I am to have him in my life. He keeps me sane. The feeling that I get when I am with him is indescribable. It absolutely makes my heart warm & me cry every time I think about what he left behind him when he met me. He was still a young guy, hanging out with his friends, living life like a college student. He didn't have the worries of a full time job, bills, being an adult, a wife, or a child. But, all at once, he took on all of those without one complain. Who does that? It takes a very special man to not only accept a woman with a child, but to take that child as their own and eventually go onto adopting the child. 

Kaden has the biggest heart ever. Someone could be absolutely rude to him and he still accepts them with open arms. I've never been so impressed in my entire life. He's so patient with me when I'm acting crazy. He's an amazing dad & came into it like a pro. He grew up faster than he needed too, but does it everyday for us.

Kaden is my PERSON.
He's my person that I go to for everything. 
He's my movie buddy.
He's the shoulder I cry on when I'm having horrible days.
He's my person that calls me out on my crap.
He's there for me everyday.
He pushes me to be better.
He tells me when I've been eating like crap and I'm going to get Diabetes if I don't stop eating so much candy.
He's my person that I don't know why he picked me, because he is just too good.
He's my person who comes home from work, just to do more work at home.
He's my person that will watch Bachelorette or Dancing With the Stars with me & only complain a little bit.
He's my person that will play sports with me and not let me win.
He's my person that will rap to me just to make me smile.
He's my person that will let me talk cheerleading to him even when he doesn't understand.
He's my person that watches sports with my every night.

He's my person.

& I absolutely love and adore him.

Little shout out for my babes. I love you, Kaden. I absolutely love & adore you. This isn't just a Father's Day shout out to you. This is a shout out because you are the best thing that has ever happened to myself & Jaxson. We would be lost without you. Thank you for being such a hard worker. Thank you for being not only the best husband in the whole world, but the most amazing daddy to our little Jaxson. I can't wait for the time to come for us to become an eternal family. I wouldn't want anyone else by my side.

I love you. 

Thanks for being MY PERSON.

Enjoy!

Tuesday {FAVORITES}...

Sorry I've been away from the blog so long. My little family has been super busy lately. 

Just a quick catch up...

I recently just got the Head Cheerleading Coach position at the High School. I am SO excited to work with my cute new team. I absolutely love my 24 cheerleaders. 

My little brother comes home from his mission on May 27th... I am SO STOKED. There will most likely be a blog post about that day.

My little family just added on a new addition to our family. We recently just got a puppy. His name is Dizzy. Jaxson loves to call him Dizzy Wright. Those two are already BEST BUDS!

This weekend, my HOTT husband & I will be headed down to St. George & Vegas for a little break from life. After 2 long years, I get to go to Supercross again & I couldn't be more excited. We are just ready to go see our friends & getaway for a few days. So, also expect a blog post from this upcoming weekend.

ANYWAY...

On the blog today:

Tuesday {FAVORITES}

Here are just 10 of my favorite things right now.

 The "cat eye" shaped sunglasses are my new favorite look. I just bought this pair from Forever21 and I absolutely love them. These ones were only $8. You can buy them really anywhere, this is just my favorite style now!

 Ohh, how I love floppy hats. I also just purchased this one from Forever21. It was $19. I absolutely love the look of floppy hats now! It is such a cute style! 

Frank Body... I LOVE YOU! This is such an AWESOME body scrub... Especially for only $17.95 with FREE shipping! Here is a link to the Frank Body Website. They have lots of different products for all different skin types. This product is a MUST!

Frank Body

 

Okay... These shoes are my new love. I got them on Amazon for only $30 and that included shipping. They are called the "Hawaii Jesus Sandal". They are definitely my most comfortable shoe. I wear them with just about every outfit, because they are cute, they match & they are SO comfy. I would highly recommend these!!

The "Jogger Pants" trend that is going on right now makes this girl one happy girl. I love how cute it looks, yet it is also so comfy. They make them in all different styles, as you can see pictured above. I have about 5 different pairs of jogger pants & I LOVE to wear my Hawaii Jesus Sandals with them. You can wear heels, sneakers, sandals, etc... with these pants. I have purchased some at Ross, Forever21 and Zumiez. I'm sure you can find them in a lot more places as well. The range of these jogger pants have been between $10 and $20...not too bad, eh? 

 John Frieda Beach Sea Salt Spray. One word. YES. After I curl my hair in the mornings, I will spray this onto my hair and then mess it all up. It gives it that beachy look along with the beachy smell. The good smell. This spray smells like vacation. I love it & I got it at Walmart for only $9. Great deal, right?

How cute is the "Kimono" style? I don't know about you, but I absolutely love it. They aren't heavy to wear, so it's just a cute little add on to your everyday outfit. Like I have mentioned above, you can find these really anywhere. It's just how hard you look. I have found mine at Ross, Pac Sun & H&M. The ones that I have purchased have been between $15-$30. Usually if you look on the website: http://www.jane.com - you can find some SWEET deals on Kimono's & Jogger Pants. Be sure to look there everyday. There are always new deals!

I'm not sure how many of you know about the DoTerra Oils, but I love them. I totally believe in them. This is one of my favorites. I have been SOOOO stressed lately, that this oil has become my BFF. I just rub it one time on the back of my neck & BOOM, such a relaxing feeling. You can order it from DoTerra for only $25. It lasts a long time!

Pink lipstick... Another FAVORITE. This one is Urban Decay from Sephora. This one is $22 but, you can get all kinds of lipsticks with all different shades really anywhere. I think lipsticks are SO fun & it can change a look on your outfit almost instantly.

Last, but definitely not least. UniqONE. I put this spray in my hair as soon as I get out of the shower. The uses? 

1 REPAIR FOR DRY & DAMAGED HAIR.

2 SHINE & FRIZZ CONTROL.

3 HEAT PROTECTION.

4 SILKINESS & SMOOTHNESS.

5 HAIR COLOR PROTECTION / WITH UVA & UVB FILTERS.

6 EASIER BRUSHING & IRONING.

7 INCREDIBLE DETANGLING.

8 LONG-LASTING HAIRSTYLE.

9 SPLIT ENDS PREVENTION.

10 ADDS BODY.

 Let me just say. I LOVE IT. You can buy this at Ulta for $17.99. Not too bad & mine has lasted me for a couple months.

Well, I hope you all Enjoy!

Be sure to watch for my next few blog posts. They should be pretty fun! 

April Fools' Day...

On the blog today:

I'll just make this short & straight to the point.

In honor of April Fools' Day being tomorrow, I decided to give my opinion about the day... Because it's not a holiday.

I am definitely one to prank. I think it's hilarious. Any chance that I get to prank my husband, oohhhhh I'm totally game. That's kind of what we are about. I'm terrified of the dark & hate being scared... He hates ice cold water being thrown on him while he's in the shower... Haha, but really, I love pranks. They're great.

But, tomorrow...

Don't post fake pregnancy announcements.

That's all I am really asking.

I know that it's "just a joke" or "I was just kidding".

Take just a second to think about someone in your life that is either struggling from infertility or that has recently experienced miscarriage. If you don't know anyone, well here I am raising my hand saying, "We are currently struggling at having baby #2". If you didn't know that we were going through this, then check out the link to my post about Infertility.

Inside My Crazy, Beautiful World - Infertility 

Honestly, if you don't care about my feelings... That is totally fine with me. I'm a pretty strong person & I will be just fine. 

But, all I am suggesting to you? 

DON'T DO IT.

You never know... Someone very close to you could be going through a lot more than you really know.

 Infertility & Miscarriages are very hard things to talk about.  I'm not quite sure how I got the guts to even talk about our situation. The subject is not talked about very often and someone very close to you could be going through it. It is heartbreaking to see people treating pregnancy like it's a joke when there are some of us who want it SOOO BADLY.

Anyway... What do I know? 

If you would like some other ideas of pranks to pull tomorrow, check out the link below.

17 Easy April Fools' Day Pranks 

Enjoy! 

Fashion Post: My favorites for 2015 so far.

On the blog today:

FASHION FAVORITES FOR 2015...So far! 

I've never done a "Fashion Blog Post" before, but I wanted to give it a try. Clothing, bags, makeup,  shoes, etc... are some of my most favorite things. So, today I want to share with you all my favorite shoes, bags & makeup that I have found for 2015 so far. A big thing I want to focus on while sharing all of this with you is, keeping it affordable for everyone. Links will be posted with each item I show you! I'll show you my 5 favorites from each category! 

Stay tuned for my next post which will be...

"All Things Clothing"

{BAGS}

From: Forever21

Bag: Zippered Faux Leathered Satchel. 

Price: $32.90

--------------------

From: H&M

Bag: Shopper 

Price: $24.95 

 --------------------

 From: Kohl's

Bag: Rosetti Sage Crossbody Bag

Price: $19.99

--------------------

From: Nordstrom

Bag: Colorblock Convertible Satchel 

Price: $44.00 

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From: Target

Bag: Tote Handbag w/ Polka Dot Clutch 

Price: $44.99

 {SHOES}

From: Forever21

Shoe: Metallic Faux Patent Leather Oxfords 

Price: $27.90

--------------------

From: Kohl's

Shoe: LC Lauren Conrad Peep-Toe Booties

Price: $69.99

--------------------

 From: H&M

Shoe: Loafers 

Price: $14.95

--------------------

From: Nordstrom

Shoe: Coast Double Strap Sandal 

Price: $49.95  

--------------------

From: Target

Shoe: Calista Cut-Out Ankle Boots 

Price: $31.99  

{MAKEUP/BEAUTY}

Even though some of you have already seen or heard of the items I am about to show you, or they have been out for awhile. They are still my favorites and I would chose them over ANYTHING I've had tried in the past.

From: Bath & Body Works

Product: Hawaii Collection

Prices: *Range*

This is just one of the products from the Hawaii Collection that I absolutely LOVE. The link above is to the complete Hawaii Collection!

 --------------------

From: Sephora 

Product: Naked2 - Urban Decay 

Price: $54.00

This is a little pricey...I know! BUT, this is the best eye shadow I have EVER used. You definitely get what you pay for! 

------------------

From: Sephora

Product: Percersion Mascara - Urban Decay 

Price: $22.00

This pricing isn't too bad, I know it's a little much for mascara. But, I promise you... This is my absolute favorite & it's the best. It will last you awhile & it is not clumpy to your lashes...AT ALL. So so worth it!   

--------------------

From: Ulta

Product: Beach Bunny Bronzer - Too Faced 

Price: $30.00

I know I've said this about my last few products, but I absolutely LOVE this one too. It doesn't go on too dark, but it does give your face the little bit of bronzer that you need! It's awesome!  

--------------------

From: Victoria's Secret

Product: Lip Plumper - Beauty Rush 

Price: $10.00

This isn't the exact product from Victoria's Secret that I have used in the past as far as their Lip Plumper, but it was very similar. I use a lot of Victoria's Secret lip products. They are AMAZING.   

Enjoy & Stay Tuned...

All Things Disneyland.

On the blog today:

disneyland.

Okay... I'll admit it. I've got Disneyland on my mind. My dad called me this morning and gave me the official dates for our family vacation to Disneyland this year. July can't come soon enough. So, I wanted to share my advice on Disneyland. I know I'm not the only Disney fanatic out there. Maybe you're going to Disneyland soon or you've been a million times & want to try something new there. You may know a lot already, but this is just in case!

• First thing... If you are planning your trip to California
  & Disneyland is the highlight... Stay within walking distance of Disneyland. We usually stay within a block or two. It's so convenient to have your hotel so close. If you aren't within walking distance, my advice? Use your hotel shuttle. You will save a TON of money on parking at Disneyland.
• Get there early. If you get there early, you can get a fast pass to the rides that are normally insane waits & you can ride the big rides first instead of standing in huge lines later on in the day. My advice? Have a plan of the rides you want to go on & when you want to go on them. SOO much easier instead of spending your day in lines. 

•  Buy a Park Hopper. Disneyland is amazing, but I recommend spending some time at California Adventure too.
• Watch the fireworks at least one night. They do fireworks every night. Make sure you get a good seat & enjoy. They are AWESOME.
• WORLD OF COLOR. I highly recommend this. You will want to get into California Adventure right when it opens and get a fast pass to World of Color. Such an amazing show. It is SO worth it.
• Get a Disneyland App. I have an Iphone & the app that I have is called "Disneyland Magic Guide. I'm pretty sure in all the app stores it's titled the same thing or something similar. This app gives you wait times, where to eat, a map of the parks & the hours/events.
• Hungry? My favorite place to eat at California Adventure... Pacific Wharf Cafe. I absolutely LOVE their Clam Chowder. Favorite place in Disneyland... Big Thunder Ranch BBQ. Family style BBQ is amazing. Want something quick? Disneyland Turkey Leg... The best!
• Sweet Tooth? On main street there is a place to get pretzels filled with cream cheese. Ohhh myyyy goshhhh. In Adventure Land, there are Dole Pineapple Whip. Be sure to stop by there. Want something quick? Churro stands all over Disneyland & California Adventure.
• Parades. At least watch one of the parades. It's getting harder to see all characters, so going to the parade's, your little ones will definitely see everyone! The app I told you about earlier will be able to tell you all the times of the parades.
• If you have already seen the parades. This is the perfect time to ride the long wait time rides.
• Animation Academy @ California Adventure. There is a great big building in California Adventure called the Animation Academy. We just barely started doing this a few years ago. When you go inside they have "Turtle Talk with Crush" (For the little kiddos), they have a show that you are able to go into and they will teach you step by step how to draw Disney Characters & they have a video game that asks you questions to tell you which Disney Character you are most like. We had a blast doing this. If you are there during the summer months, its a good way to cool down inside.
• Character Dining. This is a MUST. It's a little bit pricy, but if you have little ones... They will LOVE it. While you are eating an AMAZING meal, the Disney Characters will come up to you, sit with you, take pictures, etc... Here is a link to the different places that offer Character Dining. 
• Pin Trading. We just started doing this a few years ago as well. One year we went down & my Aunt Wendy had bought a ton of cheaper pins on Amazon for us to trade. If you buy cheaper pins from Amazon before hand, then you wont be spending $8-$10 per pin at Disneyland. When you get to Disneyland, find the Cast Members that have the fanny pack with pins on it. You get to pick which pin you want from them & you trade...FOR FREE. I did it with Jaxson not too long ago & we were able to get him a whole bunch of his favorite Disney Characters! It's crazy what kind of pins you can find from all the trading being done.

Character Dining Link 

My random Advice:

• Take LOTS of pictures. If you are planning on buying Mouse ears, buy them your first day so they are in all your pictures!
• Take a backpack that will close tightly. That way if you take in on a ride it won't get wet or open when you're upside down! Make sure you put snacks & waters in your backpack. It's A LOT cheaper.
•  If you are celebrating something when you go to Disneyland, stop by City Hall. I've had a "Birthday" pin & a "Just Married" pin. It's fun to have ALL the cast members wish you a Happy Birthday or Congratulations.
• On the rides that take your picture, have some fun with whoever you are with & plan your picture. It's hilarious to show people what you've come up with.
•  If it's raining while you are on vacation, don't hesitate to go. A lot of people will leave the park. Less people = less lines!
•  If you have kids, do the kid stuff. Nothing beats seeing your little one have the time of their lives!

Alright, who is ready to go to Disneyland?

 

Enjoy!  

Random questions...

On the blog today:

Getting to know...ASHLY

I wanted to try something fun today, so I Google searched "Random Get To Know You Questions". Let's do it. 50 questions.

What is the most random thing that you find attractive in a person? 
 I wouldn't necessarily say it's random... But, what I find most attractive in someone (aka: the husband)... Probably his laugh & smile. Ohhh emmm geeee. (smiley face with heart eyes)

Did you ever get left behind or lost as a child? How/where?

I don't think so. I was always such a worry wart. I never let my parents leave my side.

What is your favorite smell?
 Either Coconut or Vanilla. Mhmm. 

 

Rolling Stones or The Beatles?
 The Beatles. Love jamming out to them.

Do you have a weird talent?

Um... Gymnastics. Think about it. Who thought of throwing your body all over the place?

Would you rather be attacked by a bear or a swarm of bees?
Uh... bees, I guess?
 
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego, do you think?
San Diego. Just to throw everyone off, because everyone thinks she couldn't possibly be in San Diego.  

Nickelodeon or Disney?
Disney... That's not even a question!
 
What is the weirdest thing you've ever seen?
This one time a girl came into my workplace with a snake wrapped around her neck. She said she had to keep her snake warm to keep it alive. What the?
 
If you weren't an American, what would you want to be and why?
I love being an American. I don't think I would ever change it.
 

What is your Zodiac sign? Is it accurate?
Leo... Most of the time it's accurate.
 
What was your best subject in high school?
I loved math.. But, my best subject was probably History.
 
What do you do when you're stressed?
Blog. Haha.
 
Are there any superstitions that you believe in?
I wouldn't say I believe them, but I don't take any chances on eyelashes or coins.
 
Would you rather be a a rock star, a pro athlete, or a famous author?
Rock star, cause in my head... I'm an amazing singer. HAHA.
 
Milk shakes or Slurpees?
Cookie Dough milkshake, please?
 
What is the number one most played song on your Ipod right now?
Hmm... let me look... Sugar by: Maroon 5.

What chore do you hate doing most?
Freaking HATE laundry.
 
What is one talent that you don't have but wish you did?
I wish I was talented at Basketball. But, being 4'11 it's a little hard.
 

If you could stay one age forever what would it be?
I don't think I would want to stay one age. I LOVE birthdays. I have also grown & learned something each year.
 

If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor?
My sister-in-law. I trust her like CRAZY. Aside from my husband, I've been able to talk to my sister-in-law about everything. I look up to her more than she knows. Love her so so much. 

If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be?
 Derek Jeter's last baseball game @ Yankee Stadium.
 
If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be?
I have no idea. Honestly. Stumped me on that one.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Telepathy... I want to be able to read minds.

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?
Pay off our house & car... Save the rest & live wisely.
 
What do you miss most about being a kid?
Taking naps. Gosh, I'm tired.
 
What is your first memory?
 Oh gosh, probably when I was doing a dance for the Scandinavian Days in my home town. I fell straight on my face in front of everyone. I cried and cried. I was so embarrassed. 

What was the first thing you bought with your own money?
Probably like a candy bar or something stupid like that.
 
At what age did you become an adult?
 I hate being an adult. But, I think I officially realized I was an adult when I got pregnant at 19. I was a single mom & had to grow up quickly. 

What song are you embarrassed to know every word to?
Barbie girl... or any Aqua song for that matter. 
 
Do you like TV or movies more?
Movies... LOOOOVVVEEEE watching movies.
 
Do you like camping?
You bet. I haven't been forever, but I love it.
 
If you could be given any gift, what would it be and why?

Uhh, these are hard. I don't know? Anything, I guess?

What is a movie or book that most changed your life?

The Little Mermaid. From the movie on, I knew I wanted to be a mermaid.

What is the most embarrassing CD you own?
Aqua. Haha.
 
What would your ultimate pet be?
Cheetah!
 

What did you want to be when you grew up?
An Architect.
 
When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? Why?
Every. Single. Night. My husband is hilarious. 
 
Do you have any irrational fears? What?
I am terrified of being way far out in the ocean & I am also terrified of the dark.
 

What song motivates you most when you’re exercising?
Right now it's probably "GDFR" By: Flo Rida.
 
When you think of the 70s/80s/90s, what song comes to mind?
I think We're Alone Now. -Tiffany
 

Would you rather have $50,000 free and clear from a respectable source or $150,000 from a shady 
 source that may be illegal?
$50,000
 
If you could go to a concert with four major acts, living or dead, who would you want them to be?
George Strait, Tim McGraw, Michael Jackson & Blink 182.
 
Do you watch or read the news? 
Read, mostly.
 
Do you have any near death experiences?
I can't say that I have. Knock on wood & thank goodness.
 
Is there a story behind how you got your name?
I think at one point my parents said because of Ashley National Forest. But then they decided to make it "unique". Just so I will never find a key chain with my name on it. 

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Morning. I get so tired, sooooo early at night.
 
Do you have any phobias? 
Just the dark & being out deep in the ocean.
 

Are you the same person today as you were 5 years ago?
DEFINITELY NOT. I have grown up sooo much in the past 5 years.
 
Would you rather live the rest of your life in a big city or out in the country?
 Out in the country. Love visiting the city but, a small town is where its at.


Enjoy!

To post... Or not to post...

I've debated for a long, LONG time on whether or not I wanted to talk about this.

SO... Here I am, sick to my stomach, scared to death...

But it needs to happen.

This may be all over the place, so I apologize in advance.

(BIG DEEP BREATH)

Infertility

(I'm not posting this because I want sympathy. I really don't want sympathy. I am okay. I'm a lot stronger despite what people think. I am sharing because if someone reading this is going through the same thing, feel free to talk to me. I'm here!)

I wouldn't necessarily call Kaden & myself infertile, but I would definitely say that we are struggling at having another baby. The doctors that we have talked to haven't said that its impossible for us to have kiddo #2. But, there definitely have been a few bumps in the road. It's honestly such a hard thing to go through. I can honestly say that I was the person who always said, "It will never happen to me, there is no way that it's not possible for someone to not be able to have kids." But, in reality... Infertility is a big issue. Now that we are going through it, I  hear more & more stories of people struggling. I honestly didn't realize that it could happen. Like I said, at this point I wouldn't call us infertile, but STRUGGLING would be the best way to describe it. For those of you that have been through what we are going through... A gold star from me to you. I seriously look up to you & admire you.

If you have been through infertility, you know just how freaking hard it is. It is a DANG EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER. That is the best way to describe infertility. Everyone tells you, "It happens when you stop trying" or "Don't stress, it'll happen". But, lets be honest... HOW CAN I NOT STRESS? It's on my mind constantly and every month that stupid little negative sign shows up... It's stressful and it HURTS. Also, when does a couple really stop trying? You can say "Oh we are just gonna focus on us and not really try anymore" -- Seriously? Biggest lie...EVER. Even when you say that, you know for a fact, every time you are thinking "Maybe this is our lucky day!"

I do have to give a shout out to my husband though, he's a freaking gem. I hit the jackpot meeting Kaden. With everything that has been going on, he's been nothing but 100% there for me and the strong one in our relationship. I'm not going to lie. I have been an emotional mess for awhile now. We have been trying to have baby #2 for over a year now. I didn't really let it worry me until we hit about 10-11 months of trying & still nothing. Now, it's basically consuming my life. With all the tears & the questions of "why is this happening to us" -- Kaden has been there for me every step of the way. Believe me when I say there were a ton of tears & tantrums from me. Along with the tears and tantrums, there have been crazy hormones that go with the medicine I am taking. SO... thank you, thank you, thank you to my sweet husband. I'd be absolutely lost without you & I'm blessed to have you forever. I LOVE YOU!

To: ALL THE WOMEN EXPECTING

I am TRULY happy for you all. Seeing your pregnancy posts makes me very excited for you. I love to see all the different ideas that you come up with, in hopes that sometime in the future it'll be myself posting an announcement and that you will be excited for me. I am never ever bitter or upset with you personally. My feelings though? It's sooo hard and I definitely struggle every single time I see a pregnancy announcement. Why me? Why can't that be Kaden & I? I won't lie either. That's definitely a moment that I cry my eyes out. But, as far as being mad at you or pissed that you're pregnant... Not a chance. I am genuinely happy for you & your family. You truly deserve it. 

The only time that I get pissed about someone being pregnant is if they aren't happy about it. I truly believe that if God sends you a baby, it was meant to be. You are supposed to have that child. If you aren't supposed to have the child, maybe then God is sending you a baby to help another family. If you are pregnant, please PLEASE just be happy about it. I'm sure there are quite a few people around you (including myself) wishing that they were in your shoes. 

To: EVERYONE TELLING ME TO HAVE BABY #2
I know, I know! I want baby #2 just as bad as you do, I promise. So does Jaxson. I'm pretty sure Jaxson asks me on a daily basis when mommy will bring him a baby brother or sister. When you tell me "It's time" or "When are we gonna see another baby". I'm not ignoring your comments. I see them. Until now, I just haven't really wanted to talk about it or tell you that we truly are trying. We want another baby. It's just not in God's plan right now. Now, when I tell you this... I'm not upset that you want us to have another baby or that you're telling me it's time. I love so much that you guys all think we are ready for another one or that you want to see another baby Kulland. Again though, trust me when I say. ME TOO. We want baby #2.

 Okay, here's where this post gets a little deep... So, sorry in advanced if you think I am crazy. Kaden's grandma passed away a few weeks ago. What an amazing woman she was. I am so blessed to have known her for the past couple years. Grandma Shirley will seriously be missed. Anyway, a few nights after she passed away I had a dream about her. In my dream I woke up to Shirley sitting at the foot of mine & Kaden's bed. She wanted me to tell everyone that she was okay & was no longer in anymore pain. She then told me that I didn't need to worry anymore because she has my baby with her and everything will work out. Shortly after that I woke up from my dream. I know, I know. I know what you are thinking "It was just a dream" or "you sound like you're in an episode from Long Island Medium". But, seriously... After I woke up from the dream I felt so much peace. It was like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders immediately. 

Yes, I still want baby #2 ASAP. Yes, everything that I have mentioned above is true. Struggling at having a baby is HARD. Seeing pregnancy announcements doesn't get easier. But, what I did get from "my dream" was faith. I've always had faith in the Lord that this was just a trial that Kaden & I must go through. But, after that dream... The amount of faith I had was insane. I'm still worried about the future. I mean... who wouldn't be? But, I know that whether I get pregnant orrrr we adopt. Everything will happen for a reason. I DO still have faith that I will eventually become pregnant. But as for now, we are just talking to specialists, praying daily & seeing what our next move will be. 

Like I said earlier. I don't need sympathy or for anyone to feel bad for me. The best thing to do for someone going through? Just give them a hug & let them know you are there for them.

 

Thanks for reading.

Enjoy!