About my TODDLER...

On the Blog today:

My {Insane} Toddler.

Jaxson

Okay, if you've had a toddler before... then you will completely understand where I am coming from & either be crying because everything is soooo true (you're going through the same phase that I am going through OR you will be laughing and nodding at everything because you've experienced it and it's far enough in the past that it is NOW funny. --If you don't understand, then your child must be an Angel. If you are pregnant or have a newborn... my advice? PREPARE.

Usually everyone says that the "Terrible Two's" are the worst. Well, I am here to tell you that "Horrible Three's" are actually HORRIBLE. I don't know what happened when Jaxson turned 3. He stopped listening, the backtalk from him is INSANE & if I had a penny for every time I was physically assaulted by my child... I'd be rich.

The reason for this post today is because this past weekend, I heard some of the craziest things come out of my child's mouth & the way he acted... OH MY MERCY COW (phrase made up by my 2 year old niece).

Here's a little overview...

ME: "Jaxson, if you don't start listening to me, that corner over there has your name on it!"

JAXSON: "Or maybe you will never ever see me again & I will move out!"

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ME: "Dude, would you like to go sit in timeout?"

JAXSON: "Yuuuuppp"

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ME: "Jaxson. Please. PLEASE use your inside voice."

JAXSON: "My voice is all the same & if I use my inside voice, nobody can hear me!"

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ME: "Jaxson, I am begging you... JUST TAKE A NAP!"

JAXSON: "Why don't you go take a nap!!"

The thing about that last one, I would love to take a scheduled nap EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

It's kind of sad but, I am at the point in life right now where I just want to be a recluse & stay home. Why you ask? Because taking my crazy 3 year old child anywhere in public I am guaranteed at least one major meltdown (possibly multiple), guaranteed screaming at whatever restaurant we are in & chasing them across every inch of the place we are in.

So... YES. Staying home & becoming a recluse sounds FABULOUS.

AND YES. When I do go to the grocery store, I am a big time push over & buy my child WHATEVER he would like, just so I can get through that half hour with no screams or tantrums.

Bath time for Jaxson at our house looks like a freakin' Tsunami just hit.

Want to know what else is AWESOME about my toddler? Thanks to him, I know every word to ALL of the Disney Junior Shows. Don't believe me?

"It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse... Come inside it's fun inside

It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse ROLL CALLL

Donald, Daisy, Goofy, Minnie, Pluto, Mickey"

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"Yo-Ho Matey's away, there will be treasure & adventure today. Heave-Ho here we go, together as a team, Jake & the Neverland Pirates and MEEEEE"

If you don't believe me, feel free to check.

Last but certainly not least...

I found an article not too long ago that was titled "Ways that Living with a Toddler is like Prison"

I can't remember who it was written by, but it sure it the spot.

-You can't do ANYTHING without constant supervision.

-EVERY morning begins with someone screaming at you.

-You're always afraid something terrible will happen while in the shower.

-You never get to choose the movie & while it's on, you can't hear over all the yelling.

-You're always terrified of being assaulted by some kind of weapon or in my case "ANY TOY"

-Being placed in Solitary Confinement is not a punishment... It's a reward.

Yes, Jaxson keeps me on my toes EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

& yes, having a toddler is a lot of work.

Some days I'll admit I want to absolutely rip my hair out.

BUT, I would never change the fact that I am a mother.

It definitely has its ups & downs.

But, I love it.

& this is just a phase.

Anyone else understand?

Enjoy!